It's been more than a month since my KKN ended (um, if you have no idea of what I'm talking about, you may read the previous posts :P). However, tonight while preparing a little present to send to the kids in the village where I did my KKN, I started to miss them so much. I have never really thought of myself to be someone who dote much on little children. I never really got along with little children, so the fact that I actually got along with these kids during my KKN, I even surprised myself.
To be honest, the members of my KKN unit in Krajan did not get along very well with each other at first. It was hard for all of us. For most of us, we barely knew each other. And yet, we were faced with the hardship of living in some remote village, without anyone to take care of us. It was quite a mess. At that time, I even really doubted myself to be able to make it to five weeks. Things started to heat up, and ended up breaking out in a hot discussion among us, I really wasn't comfortable with how things were that time. And suddenly, these little kids were in front of our house, with their loud yet shy voice, asking us to teach them. For me, they were like angels. They basically saved us from having a big fight.
After that day, they came to our house basically almost everyday to study and play with us. And after that day, the members in my unit started to get along really well. Everything started to fall into places, nicely. At some points, we got tired of teaching and playing with them, including me. However, for me especially, it was a precious experience. Among all of the things that I've done in my life, it was one of the most precious.
It might look to other people as we teaching them. Well, yeaaaahh it was we teaching them. But, somehow, these kids were actually teaching something too to me. They taught me about simplicity, and about being humble. All these times, I have lived with a great family, went to good schools, knew great people, and traveled to beautiful places. However, then, only with these kids that I really thought deeply about my life, and the meaning of life. What is my purpose in this short life of mine?
Days passed, they still came to our house after school almost everyday. I met them at school too sometimes, to teach them. Even though they were really shy at first, every time I passed in front of their school, they started to wave and called out for my name cheerfully. Every time it was my turn to teach in their class, they started to scream out my name happily. I was also really, really happy.
Without much realizing it, five weeks had passed, and it was time for us to say goodbye. It was really sad for me. I said my goodbyes with tears starting to welling up, and while giving my best effort to hold myself from crying in front of the kids, my voice started to tremble. In my head I was totally cursing myself to be so weak and sentimental. And these little kids in front of me, who just had these strange visitors from somewhere --namely us-- five weeks ago, and had just started to get along together, they also started to tear up, even the little boys who were usually just picking on me. How emotional I must have been that day, I couldn't really say it with words. I could only hoped for them to have dreams, to have goals in their lives. I hoped for them to spread their wings, because it hurt me so much that these kids have so much potential and yet they are trapped in this situation where they aren't even aware that there is this big world waiting for them out there. I hoped for them to have meaningful lives, happy ones.
Now, I am back to my usual school life, for my final year. However, while before, I really had no idea what I wanna do with my life later in the future, now, I at least know one thing. I have this dream of having a good job that can earn me a lot of money (well, I still need to live LOL), and at the same time, building a free school for kids, or anything, so I can teach and learn with kids in special situations just like these little kids in my KKN. I know, its a big one, but its a dream worth fighting for, nonetheless, dont you think? :)
